"Down South" means Key West.
Flip-flops are everyday wear.
Shoes are for business meetings and church.
No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or Christmas.
Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
All the local festivals are named after a fruit. (except the Zellwood Sweet Corn Festival!)
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
Anything under 95 is just warm.
Anything under 70 is chilly.
You've hosted a hurricane party.
You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.
You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important!
Socks are only for bowling.
Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
Tap water makes you vomit.
You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim.
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You could swim before you could read.
You have to drive north to get to The South.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
You dread lovebug season.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list : They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.
You know why flamingos are pink.
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
You were 12 before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.
Okay, I got some big laughs out of that, but maybe I have been living in Florida too long! Let's just say I can direclty relate to at least 95% of those comments....
Till next time,