Adventures in Receptionism


"Good afternoon, law office."

"Yes, I have an appointment this afternoon and I don't know where I'm supposed to park."

"You may park anywhere outside the building in the guest parking lot."

"Well then, what the hell am I doing in a parking garage?"

(Hmm. I could think of several reasons for that, the first of which being that you were too stupid to call me for instructions before you drove into the parking garage.) "Well, I'm not sure. If you'll just drive back down to the parking lot, you'll be able to find a spot. We're in Suite 701."

"Allright, what building are you in?"

(Now you don't even know what building you're going to? What did you decide to do, just pick a random office building and hope you're in the right place?) "The Centurion Tower, 1601 Such-and-So Street; there's a large sign out front, you can't miss it." (The phone begins to ring.) "Okay? We'll see you soon."

"Wait. . .you aren't going to HELP ME FIND IT?????"

(rrrrrrrrrring) "Sure, let me put you on hold, okay?"

(transferring second caller)

"Ma'am? Did you need additional assistance?"

"Yes, I need you to Tell Me How To Get There."

"What street are you on now?"

"I don't know. I'm by some buildings, can you tell me how to get there from here?"

(I could certainly tell you where to go. . .) "You don't know where you are?"

"No! Is there someone else I can talk to besides YOU?"

"Well, I don't think anyone else is going to be able to help you get here from where you are if you don't know where that is."

I gave the woman standard directions from the nearest major intersection. She had to call again from inside our building to find out what floor Suite 701 was on. (Any guesses? Anyone?) She'd gone to the third.

And what was she coming in for, you ask?

A job interview. I swear, I can't make this stuff up!

Till next time,


  1. I was trying to figure out what sort of job at a law office would be appropriate for this woman, but I had to conclude none.

  2. Priceless.....I work for a CPA and usually get....how am I supposed to pay my taxes, I don't have the money!

    Blogless Diane

  3. I work in a fairly large office in downtown Cincinnati. It's a temp agency and although I don't work in the branch office, I am down there from time to time and I hear the stuff that people come in and say. (I won't even tell you about the crazy calls I get!) Yesterday it was pretty bad weather - raining and cold. I happen to be down there and two things happened that I just couldn't believe:

    Guy comes in and sits in the waiting area. The person (M) who was covering for the receptionist (who was out) lets the person sit there for 10 mins thinking that maybe he's waiting on something. Finally, M says something to the guy: "Can I help you with something?" Guy says "Nope, it's just cold out and I'm waiting in here for a bit." Dumbfounded by this, M tells the guy that he needs to leave or he will have to have him escorted out. Thankfully the guy left. Can I just mention that there is a mall not even a block from here with benches and a food court where no one would bother this guy if he was just sitting around for hours on end?

    Another person comes in and asks "Do you sell minutes for my cell phone here?" *blink* Did you notice the sign for the TEMP AGENCY out front?! This is not the Super-mini-mart, and doesn't even remotely look like one. M just said, very calmly, "No, this is a Temp Agency, not a market."

    Seriously - just can't make this stuff up! I know exactly the kind of people that you speak of. I still can't believe some of the things that happen - it just boggles the mind!

  4. Whew! I'm glad you advised her to park OUTSIDE the building. That could have been embarrassing. Unless she had a Kia, it probably wouldn't fit in the elevator.

    I usually get the:

    "can you look up my claim"

    "do you have a claim number"

    "no, just my name"

    "great, what's that. i can probably look it up for you then"

    "juan garcia"

    "sorry, but could you be more specific? my computer stops at a 100 person search in texas"

  5. LOL!! This was so well told that I'm STILL annoyed at her on your behalf.

  6. i can't resist...did she get the job?

  7. No, she most certainly did not get the job! I'm telling you, I could save my boss so much time if I just had the authority to tell the losers, "You know what? We don't want you to work here. You can just go on home. . ."

  8. heh heh. i love it. i'm going to have to start paying better attention to the weirdo call si get...

  9. Sarah;

    I laughed until tears rolled down my face; wipe the tears then read the story to my hubby, who replied "You can fix stupid."


  10. LMAO...how did I miss this post? That's so funny...and to think, at the moment, I don't even HAVE a phone at work!w

  11. Great story!

    But don't you miss the calls for Mr. Wiggle Biggle?