"Good afternoon, law office."
"Yes, I have an appointment this afternoon and I don't know where I'm supposed to park."
"You may park anywhere outside the building in the guest parking lot."
"Well then, what the hell am I doing in a parking garage?"
(Hmm. I could think of several reasons for that, the first of which being that you were too stupid to call me for instructions before you drove into the parking garage.) "Well, I'm not sure. If you'll just drive back down to the parking lot, you'll be able to find a spot. We're in Suite 701."
"Allright, what building are you in?"
(Now you don't even know what building you're going to? What did you decide to do, just pick a random office building and hope you're in the right place?) "The Centurion Tower, 1601 Such-and-So Street; there's a large sign out front, you can't miss it." (The phone begins to ring.) "Okay? We'll see you soon."
"Wait. . .you aren't going to HELP ME FIND IT?????"
(rrrrrrrrrring) "Sure, let me put you on hold, okay?"
(transferring second caller)
"Ma'am? Did you need additional assistance?"
"Yes, I need you to Tell Me How To Get There."
"What street are you on now?"
"I don't know. I'm by some buildings, can you tell me how to get there from here?"
(I could certainly tell you where to go. . .) "You don't know where you are?"
"No! Is there someone else I can talk to besides YOU?"
"Well, I don't think anyone else is going to be able to help you get here from where you are if you don't know where that is."
I gave the woman standard directions from the nearest major intersection. She had to call again from inside our building to find out what floor Suite 701 was on. (Any guesses? Anyone?) She'd gone to the third.
And what was she coming in for, you ask?
A job interview. I swear, I can't make this stuff up!
Till next time,